The Gift of Rejection

Introduction:

Rejection is something we all face—yet few of us talk about how deeply it can shape us. Whether we’re passed over for a promotion, ghosted by a friend, or subtly excluded at work, rejection chips at our self-worth and leaves us with questions.

In this post, I explore the many forms rejection can take and how we might reframe those moments not as failures, but as unexpected turning points. What if rejection is actually redirection?

Rejection can be devastating to our egos, but if we approach these situations with an open mind, there is the potential for unforeseen opportunities and unexpected blessings. However, we must be willing to be open and ready for the change that rejection offers. Most importantly, to face rejection in a healthy way, we must stop chasing the approval of others—especially when a particular situation or circumstance begins to become what is not meant for us. Often, we are not aware of the beauty that is the gift of rejection.

Rejection can be overt, passive, or both. An example of overt rejection might be the position we had worked long and hard to achieve, but when the time came for promotion, someone else was chosen or leadership changed their mind about us. Another example could be receiving a fill-in assignment that supports the company’s objectives, but taking on this extra responsibility comes at a cost to our personal time. Then, when a promised upgrade or promotion was imminent, it was later denied or delayed. Overt rejection may also be when a family member or close friend no longer communicates with you over something that happened in the past. Despite your attempts at reconciliation, they remain silent.

Examples of passive rejection might include a change in a professional relationship that transitions significantly over time. You sense that shift when your boss—who once relied upon your input—no longer seeks your opinion. You were a valued member of the team. Then, without warning, something changed: your opinion no longer mattered, you were relegated to less important tasks, or you were assigned the most difficult projects no one else wanted.

I have faced rejections like these, and I imagine many of you have as well. For some of us, when these circumstances manifest, we are left with one question: “Why?” Even with our uncertainty, our gut tells us something is wrong and that things have changed, yet it still leaves us wondering. We ask ourselves questions like, “Why was I not enough?” or “What did I do wrong?” or “What personality trait did I possess—or lack—that caused this change?” Or worse, “What was wrong with me?”

The problem with this kind of self-doubt and self-defeating questioning is that we try to shoulder the responsibility for changes that are not our own. People change. Circumstances change. Our desires, wants, and needs change. Change is a constant in this life, and there is one certainty: there will always be change.

When we experience rejection, our self-defeating reaction to it stems from the false belief that our worth is tied to others’ acceptance. But rejection is not always a reflection of our inadequacy—it’s often a redirection toward something better aligned with our growth, values, or calling.

If we can view rejection as a divine nudge—or at least an invitation—to reassess where we are, who we’re becoming, and what truly matters, we may find that it’s not the end of a story, but the beginning of a better one.

So instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” perhaps the better question is, “What is life trying to teach me?” or “What new door might be opening because this one closed?”

Let rejection refine you, not define you. There’s beauty in the ‘no,’ if you’re willing to look beyond it.

If this reflection spoke to you, I invite you to explore more about navigating life’s transitions in my upcoming book, The Life You Imagine: Dream Bold. Plan Smart. Live Fully.

More information about the 2025 book release will be available soon.